


Lifeline

by Myara



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Childbirth, F/M, Hallucinations, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Mindfuck, Nightmares, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent-Child Relationship, Pregnancy, Referenced Child Abandonment, Referenced Kuromachi, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements, Tragedy, griefing, original child character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:22:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28575945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myara/pseuds/Myara
Summary: Nusumu Haha-oya wasn't a mere nightmare Machi could forget. She was there in front of them with an ominous grin.“Are you ready to give me your child?” Her voice sounded as tender as it was in Machi’s head. It only awakened the hatred she felt when that loathsome creature was invading her mind, her memories, trying to manipulate her will to get what she wanted.“I’ll never give you my daughter, you scum!”In the middle of so much pain and suffering, Machi will need to accept unwanted help to defeat a supernatural menace.
Relationships: Hisoka/Machi (Hunter X Hunter)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 32





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read Bliss, this fic happens 12 years earlier when Himiko was born. 
> 
> That's the crazy idea I've mentioned about Machi getting pregnant just before the big Hisoka vs Chrollo fight, and having the child in the Dark Continent. It obviously won't be as easy or peaceful as Bliss, but I hope you'll enjoy it! 
> 
> A big thank you to Kirenette! The idea and the original characters exist thanks to her and she's being a great beta reader, editor, and giving the best suggestions and additions!
> 
> The tags will be updated as I post.

It started with a mild pain that she barely even noticed. All she had felt for the last months was pain, in her body, in her soul. But this pain wasn't something to be ignored, and soon it began spreading up through her belly until she felt like it was trying to cut her open from her insides. And then it stopped. 

"What was that?" Nobunaga asked when he noticed the way she stopped in her tracks and flinched. 

"Nothing. Let's keep going," Machi coldly dismissed his curiosity.

The drive to keep going was more important than her pain. That's how she managed to stay alive until then. After five minutes of walking, however, the pain slammed into her again, making Machi squeeze her eyes shut and grit her teeth. 

"Machi," he said cautiously, making her look at him with a wave of quiet anger in her eyes.

"I'm fine," she spoke through her teeth right before the pain went away.

"It's time. We have to head back now before it’s too late; you know that." Nobunaga tried to touch her shoulder, but she slapped his hand away.

It wasn't a good time for that, but what time would be a good one? _Good_. They'd been striving for survival for so long now, Machi had completely forgotten about such a positive concept. _Hope_ was also something that had sunk along with the Black Whale. 

It had been six months since she woke up desperately coughing up water on a strange beach, jagged pieces of debris strewn everywhere; all that was left of the Black Whale. It took her some time to understand where she was and what had happened. Then memories came rushing like the bodies and debris that were still washing ashore. 

Given how unstable things were on the Black Whale, it was only a matter of time when disaster would strike, but Machi could never have predicted what came next...

Phinks and Feitan had gotten caught up between the Mafia and Morena. Their fight had destroyed part of the lower tiers, forcing an agglomeration of passengers in the higher decks. Machi didn't know what happened to them, but she had a sinking feeling they would never return. Shizuku, Bonolenov, and Franklin had all been found dead, in such brutal conditions that it was hard to tell what happened to them. Not long after that Illlumi and Kalluto had simply vanished, like the assassins they were. In the end, there was only her, Nobunaga, and Chrollo in the middle of a terrible war. Kakin's Royalty and their nen beasts against each other, the Zodiacs against Beyond. 

And, of course, the three of them chasing Hisoka.

He could always cause so many emotions in her, some she couldn’t even name; some she couldn’t bear to look at. But anger, hate, and pain were the easier ones. And those mixed emotions were the fuel that motivated her in that hunt. She should be the one to kill him, no other. 

Machi had failed in her mission to take him down herself, though. She never even saw him, and still, he managed to trap Chrollo along with himself in a wrecked, abandoned lower tier; his will and bloodlust such that he would still fight Chrollo to the death, even with the ship sinking around them. 

And when it finally did, Nobunaga grabbed her before she collapsed. All she knew was that, somehow, she woke up on that beach next. Skies in shades of blood and fire, fitting perhaps, considering what she had gone through. They were crossed by giant vultures attracted by the smell of death, and not even the cries of pain from the survivors were enough to make them go away. 

Machi felt a stinging sensation in her head and her body was sore, but she didn’t cry. 

Nobunaga was near her in the sand, and together they started their journey to survive the Dark Continent, with the grim knowledge that they were the only remaining limbs of the spider now.

"We can't afford to miss this ship; it would be another couple of months trapped in this hell of a place," Machi said, but then she bent over herself, gasping in pain.

"We're still one day away from the shore," he crouched down beside her, now succeeding in touching her shoulders. "And the baby doesn't seem like waiting for so long."

She didn't want to recognize this out loud, but she knew well enough that the baby's will was supreme. It had been like this since the beginning. This whole new human being inside her body didn’t ask for her permission to be conceived, it just seized the opportunity when Machi got too distracted to even think about the possibility of such a thing happening. Too eager to feel the man she loved before a death match when it could be the last time. 

With both of them. 

And in the same week, she spent the night on two different floors at the Heaven’s Arena, for the last time.

Now the baby wasn’t asking for permission, it was demanding to be born and wouldn’t wait another day; the clear liquid running down between her legs only emphasized that point. It was useless to continue arguing with Nobunaga when she knew he was right. Machi didn’t protest when he lifted her in his arms and took her outside the main route to the coast; searching for a shortcut. She hated those twisted trees, those strange bugs with human eyes jumping from the branches and silently observing while they were passing, the constant lightning and sounds of thunder in the dark skies. She hated the constant nightmares and every single thing she’d lived there so far. 

She hated this place more than she hated Hisoka. Maybe she hated it even more than the grief of losing her friends.

And now it would be the place of birth for her child.


	2. Her Blood

Machi dug her nails into the ground beneath her, growling when the contraction slammed into her. It was getting harder each time, the pressure in her pelvis so strong she felt like something was trying to push her inside out. _Breathe, breathe_. Thirty seconds lasted an eternity and by the end of it, all she had left was damp hair on her forehead, dirt under her nails and the remnants of the pain. She felt disgusting. 

“You have to start pushing harder,” Nobunaga said, lifting his head from between her legs.

She felt _so_ disgusting.

“I’m sorry, how many children have you given birth to?” She managed to retort in a weak, breathy voice.

He huffed. A smile was on his lips though. Maybe he was amused by what seemed like a demonstration of her high spirits. In reality, her spirits had never been lower.

“Don’t you wanna meet your baby?” He asked rhetorically, but even though he wasn’t expecting an answer, Machi tried to find the right words to reply to that.

And found out she couldn’t.

Did she want to meet her baby? She let her head fall back, and her eyes wandered the myriad of dark branches above them. They didn’t manage to get back to the camp they’d been living in hiding. Well, Machi was hiding, since she didn’t want anyone to find out about her pregnancy, while Nobunaga would help her with the things that required daylight. She feared the Hunter’s Association could take an interest in her pregnancy, being the only — or one of the few — pregnant person on the Dark Continent who could give birth there. 

Although she didn’t know what she wanted for the baby, she was sure she didn’t want it to be a Hunter’s guinea pig.

But then again, what _did_ she want for her baby? What kind of mother would she be if she didn’t even know that? These thoughts had plagued her ever since she had discovered her pregnancy, yet no matter how often she rationalized, considered, or agonized, she was no closer to a clear answer as she had ever been. The ever-present danger of the Black Whale and now of her new home occupied her time plenty, and before she knew it, six months left of time became five, then three, then one, and now...

Granted, she took a long time to even recognize she was pregnant, and when she did, she felt it would be selfish to make a big deal of it. They were in the middle of a mission, the most important one so far, and she was willing to die for it. Being pregnant wouldn’t hold her back. It couldn’t hold her back. But one day she reached for Chrollo, and for the first time, she said aloud those fateful three words: ‘I am pregnant’. And she let him know the baby was his, believing it could be a little ray of light for him in such a dark moment. 

Chrollo had smiled at her, but in those grey eyes that had normally regarded her with warmth and affection — even desire at times — there was nothing. Deep down she knew she’d made a stupid decision in telling him. Not only had he never wanted kids, he knew he wasn’t the only one in her life who had been with her so intimately by the time the child was conceived. And even though he wouldn’t question her, it was something that could be felt in the tension between them. 

Machi was terrified to even think she was fooling herself. Only Danchou could be the father of her child, the other option was unbearable. 

The baby was Chrollo’s. 

_Chrollo_. Her eyes filled with tears of sorrow along with the ones of pain. He would never meet his child. The man who had saved her, and cared for her, and had been there for her like no one ever had been. She would never see him again, never see the regal way which he commanded their Troupe, never see the rare sparkle in his eyes when he found a particularly interesting antique. She would never card her fingers through his night-colored hair.

He was gone. Thousands of leagues below the ocean, entombed within the Black Whale. If there was even anything left of him. Another biting contraction radiated through Machi’s belly as she recalled the brutality which that damned magician habitually left those he claimed victory over.

Tears spilled down Machi’s cheeks. She barely concealed a child-like sniff. That bastard always got what he wanted. 

Her Danchou had been the only one she had told about the pregnancy. Only when she was already on the Dark Continent with Nobunaga, her belly had grown too big to be ignored. When he asked, she told him the only thing that mattered: she was still strong enough to defend herself. He never asked again, and she never brought it up again, until this day.

Machi couldn’t be a mother. She wasn’t ready; she didn’t know the first thing about raising a child. How was she supposed to know what to do with a baby if she never had a mother herself? And in that hell on earth that was the Dark Continent, there was no way she could survive and guarantee its well-being at the same time. Then she realized. Maybe she should hand her baby over to the Hunter’s Association. 

Maybe that would be better for the child.

The thought came along with tears rolling down her face, but before she could assimilate her feelings, another contraction whipped her reason away. Again she clawed the ground, grunting as fiercely as she could as she tried to push harder. She wouldn’t make it, would she? Her ferocious voice became a loud cry, and her chest heaved uncontrollably while sobbing. 

She could never be a mother.

“You’re right,” a female voice breathed grimly, so near Machi could almost feel a breath in her ear. Startled, she turned to try to look, but no one was there.

Nobunaga called her name, but his voice was faded and distant. All of her surroundings seemed to be brighter than it was before; a strange light engulfing everything as she had only seen in her nightmares. Day or night, there was no light like this in the Dark Continent, and it was far from comforting. 

A cold shiver ran down her spine as warm hands touched her hair. They smelled metallic like blood.

“What is it? Who are you?” Machi asked in distress, fighting to get out of that grip. The immense weight of her belly was pinning her whole body down, however.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” the voice was caring now, affectionate even. “I am Nusumu Haha-oya, and I _am_ a mother. I can help you through this.”

Machi had a terrible _deja vu_ , as she’d already heard that voice before in an ominous situation. Somehow, she could see the so-called mother behind her back, long strands of hair falling in front of her face and over the ground around them. She supported Machi against her breast and held her in her thin arms, so pale and full of blue veins between smudges of blood. There was a weird and unwelcomed tenderness in her gestures. 

“I don’t want your help,” Machi said, desperately trying to reject the embrace. “Let me go!”

Her womb felt like it was twisting inside her, and she screamed in pain. Pushing didn’t seem like an option anymore, it was mandatory; her body was bending over itself without her even noticing. Warm, coppery fluid splashed against her inner thighs, and a sweet scent filled the air. 

“The baby is suffering because of you,” Nusumu whispered. “Your doubts are killing it. It senses your lack of love.”

“Shut up!” Machi tried to shake her arms off, in vain.

“If an answer is what you need, I can show you everything, my darling girl. Everything you hide from yourself,” the voice grew softer and softer until Machi felt it was completely inside her mind. “You’re going to be just like the woman who gave birth to you. You’re never going to be a mother.”

Machi had so many tears in her eyes when she was a kid that she could drown in them. The harshness of the world taught her to swallow them all down. There was no point in crying and staring at the horizon, waiting for something when she didn’t even know exactly what it was. At that time, she had never experienced having clean clothes or fresh food. She didn’t really know what a bed looked like. Nevertheless, she did know what the word _mother_ meant. It was soft and warm, had long pink hair, and smelled good. But she couldn’t remember the time when she had it.

“You don’t remember because she never wanted you. She just kept you long enough to hand you to the elders of Meteor City. That’s what you’re going to do with this little girl as well.”

 _Girl?_ Machi watched herself with a little baby in her arms, crying so loud it was terrifying. There were so many tears rolling down her tiny face that Machi felt like drowning again. She desperately tried to soothe and lull the baby, but her sharp cries only grew louder. 

Except it wasn’t real. She was still feeling the pain and the weight in her guts.

“Get out of my mind!” Machi screamed as hard as she could, bloodlust starting to ooze almost painfully from her weakened body. 

This being, this _mother_ , was nothing more than one of the Dark Continent’s hellish scums taking advantage of her vulnerability, she realized. Unfortunately, she was succeeding. Machi was still watching that baby crying until her skin turned from greyish to pink, and then to a faint blue color. She was suffocating, but there was nothing Machi could do to make it stop. 

“Poor thing, don’t you see?” A pair of bony hands took her child away from her. Machi couldn’t see much beyond the long black hair falling like a curtain in front of Nusumu, but her infant stopped crying immediately once in her bloody arms. “That’s the future that awaits you, my dear. You won’t be able to take care of your baby and you’ll end up handing her over to someone. You can just give her to me now and be free.”

“I’m gonna kill you!” The contraction ripped through her, from between her thighs to her stomach. Still, she found the strength to threaten the creature. “Get out of my head and fight me, you bitch!”

“Oh, no, my sweet child. I don’t want to fight you; I don’t wish your death,” Nusumu’s voice sounded like a caress, which disgusted Machi. “I want you to live your life without this burden. Your baby will never be happy with you. Just leave her here, with me, I am a mother after all. I will give her everything you can’t.”

“You know nothing,” Machi whispered between her teeth.

“I know _everything_ , Machi Komacine. I know your priorities lie with the Spiders; you should go back to your land and find other limbs, keep it alive. Being a mother is unbecoming; it will only get in your way. Even more so because of the girl’s father—”

“Shut up!” Machi desperately tried to interrupt her, to prevent her from continuing, but to no use.

“My dear, you went to his room by your own choice. You’d always wished, deep in your heart, that he didn’t turn into an enemy. You wanted him to forget about his own, restless, brutal nature. But you know that’s not how nature works. That… _abomination_ … is the one who planted his seed in you. The man who carried _death_ within himself.”

The ever tender voice surprisingly contained traces of repulsion. _Abomination_ , _death_. Machi tried to overcome the uncomfortable meaning in her words to cling on to something she could use against Nusumu. She knew it wasn’t just a reflection of her feelings; Nusumu hadn’t been mirroring any of Machi’s feelings before. She had her own feelings about that damned man.

“If this is true, why would you want this baby?” She questioned breathlessly. The huge weight in her belly was going down, hurting in a way she never thought was possible. Machi gasped, trying to keep control of her own words, at least. “It will be an aberration just like _he_ was!”

If there was something still left over in her stomach, she would’ve thrown up.

“You don’t believe in your own words, sweetheart, but I’m going to make it clear,” the voice in her mind said, and Machi felt herself inside a warm, gentle fog. It hadn't eased her pain, however. “This girl will be born full of life, and here in my world, it doesn’t matter the seed that sowed her. She’ll grow up strong and loved here. You can’t say the same thing about your world, can you? Do you think the spiders would forgive you and accept this child knowing full well she carries Hisoka Morrow’s genes?”

Machi hissed. The pain in her pelvis, as if it was about to break in two. The pain in her chest, as if each letter of his name was a stab to her heart. Both pains were unbearable. For some reason, now that Nusumu named him, Machi could see him in her mind, clear as the day she kissed him for the last time. His eyes seemed so earnest she thought she could express what she wanted the most. For his obsession with Chrollo to be over. But all she ended up with was death and dismay. 

That was what Hisoka felt for her in return. _Nothing_.

If Nusumu wasn’t bluffing, what would it mean to her and all her friends to have, to love, and to raise a baby with Hisoka’s blood running in its veins? 

“They would never forgive you...” the voice was heard inside her mind, but it wasn’t as distressing as before. 

Maybe that creature called Nusumu was right, after all.

“I see the head!” Nobunaga’s yell worked like a spell to break the trance Machi was in. The feelings were there, the pain, the tears growing cold and dry on her face, but the light was gone and all the colors were normal. “Machi, push!”

Dirty nails dug now inside the palm of her hands, drawing blood without Machi even realizing it. She still had a voice, and it was loud and violent inside her throat as she pushed as her life depended on it. There was a new urge inside of her to feel herself free of that burden she had been carrying for way too long. A determination so strong Nobunaga didn’t need to yell at her to push anymore. 

Machi finally heard a little muffled cry, but she just wanted to fall back and let go. For the first time in months, she felt she could breathe freely; still not as free as before, but it was a strangely enjoyable sensation in the middle of so much soreness. 

“It’s a girl, Machi,” Nobunaga said, but she was feeling too numb to think about it. She knew he was taking care of the first procedures, cleaning the baby’s nose and such; things they’ve learned in Meteor City where this kind of knowledge was useful since there were so few doctors. Still, she was grateful for not having to look at her immediately. “Do you have a name for her?” 

“No,” she answered, her voice now weak and hoarse.

Everything seemed so distant. The louder crying, the excruciating pain, the strange Nusumu Haha-oya nightmare. Machi felt simply free of the feelings and thoughts that were hurting her during the whole process. 

Maybe she was free. 

Nobunaga appeared beside her rather suddenly to her impression, his cloak forming a little bundle in his hands. Machi tried to sit up, the lingering pain in her belly making her flinch. She ended up supporting herself with her left elbow when he crouched down to her, placing the baby in her right arm and rapidly helping her sit up.

The baby was so tiny and pinkish, crying tearlessly with eyes shut tight. Her tiny head was covered with hair that held a reddish-pink tone, probably because it was still wet. Machi felt an undescribed need to smell her, like a primitive instinct to memorize her scent. She wondered why it felt so good to have that small being in her arms when she wasn’t even sure about what to do. About what it meant to be a mother.

“Congratulations, Machi, she’s perfect,” Nobunaga said, and, for what felt like the first time in ages, Machi smiled.

She was perfect.

Peace was a rare thing in this place, though, and it could never last long. Machi felt Nobunaga raise his guard abruptly, and he exuded bloodlust in a way even she felt threatened. But Machi knew she wasn’t his target, so her weak body tensed up when she raised her eyes to the creature that appeared in front of her as if summoned. 

No foot touched the ground, but long strands of black, oily hair moved strangely before Nobunaga’s bloodlust. She didn’t seem to have eyes, only empty cavities in a skeletal face; thin white flesh webbed with prominent veins. Nusumu wasn't a mere nightmare Machi could forget. She was there in front of them with an ominous grin, exposing far too many bloody teeth.

“Are you ready to give me your child?” Her voice sounded as tender as it was in Machi’s head. It only awakened the hatred she felt when that loathsome creature was invading her mind, her memories, trying to manipulate her will to get what she wanted.

“I’ll never give you my daughter, you scum!” Machi forgot about the pain and tried to get up, supporting the baby in one arm. She felt her threads forming on her free hand among the dirt and blood; her body emanating a bloodlust stronger than Nobunaga’s. 

Still, he stepped up and took her front, sword unsheathed.

“Let me handle this, Machi,” he said quietly, eyes fixed at Nusumu. 

“Why are you making a fuss, my dear? This baby is a problem for you, and giving her to me is a solution, you know it.” Nusumu’s aura was bright and sinister, and it got stronger along with her kind voice. 

Machi wanted to attack immediately, but she felt her legs begin to wobble clumsily. 

“You shut up!” Nobunaga screamed and advanced, his sword clashing against Nusumu’s aura in a blast that made Machi fall to her knees painfully, instinctively curling over her baby to protect her.

She heard violent clashes growing distant, and Nobunaga’s voice urging her to run. When Machi could raise her head, all she saw was his figure disappearing between the woods, among the sick light of the creature’s aura. He was winning her time, and she should seize it. Machi tried to get up again and managed to stumble a few steps back before falling down to the ground one more time.

 _Fuck_.

Her hips felt like they were broken, her spine weak, her legs unsteady. Warm blood still slicked its way down her inner thighs in a faint, yet constant stream. She wasn’t going anywhere, she realized in despair. With her last remnants of strength, Machi tried to nestle her baby against her at least, the thin wailing sounded so painful to her ears.

It wasn’t enough to keep her conscious for long, however. And before she slipped away, she could have sworn she heard a knowing, hateful voice whisper over her:

“Curiouser and curiouser...”


	3. His Curiosity

Hisoka was bored.

Maybe he shouldn’t be. After all, this place was a paradise for his bloodlust; every day offering him a new fight against someone or something powerful. He often found new challenges, having to figure out creatures and even phenomena he’d never seen before. It was the best kind of drug, satisfying his physical and mental needs constantly and leaving him so high he couldn’t sleep. He could still remember the way his muscles had pulsed and hummed with pleasure, the intense satisfaction after a bloody, victorious kill had been nothing short of orgasmic. At least for the first few months. Eventually, he grew tired, and ultimately, bored. 

Completely and utterly bored. 

The Dark Continent lacked the charm of gallantry and anticipation. It lacked the human touch. Everything was always so raw, so violent, so fast. It was rather simple in its brutality. There was no real challenge to be had anymore; nothing to sharpen his mind, and no one to subject to his meticulous mind games. Hisoka never thought of himself as someone who had a home, but suddenly, he realized he was homesick for the old world — the world as he knew it. He missed running water, comfortable beds and new clothes. He missed contemplating his fruits as they ripen, slowly and patiently getting stronger and, _oh_ , becoming juicier for him to break.

So when he found out a new ship was about to arrive to finally bring people back to the old, normal world, he promptly set out for the coast. That was until something else caught his attention when he was about one hour away from his destination. 

First, the ever enticing smell of fresh blood took him to the cabins. There were a few small pieces of rustic civilization like that one in the Dark Continent. Some were new, built by the survivors of the Black Whale’s wreck. Others were old and covered in moss, from the time of the previous Hunter’s and, by then, V5’s expeditions, located mostly near rivers of fresh, safe water. The castaways had taken up residence in the old cabins, and it was this primeval neighborhood that had been transformed into a horror movie scenario, corpses ravaged and strewn all over the place, pools of blood dripping everywhere. Hisoka thought it was _curious_.

Then, from the nearby woods, he heard a scream and felt a bloodlust he knew so well. 

_Machi_...

Well, this was a surprise. This made him lick his lips, hide his presence, and follow the direction of her aura without thinking twice. Machi was a mystery that had enticed him for too long. The last time they saw each other, Hisoka had almost killed her but had changed his mind at the last minute. If he permitted himself to linger on events from months ago, he might have wondered why exactly he had done such a thing. Since then, he still didn’t know exactly what to do about her. Countless times he had felt her so near in the Black Whale. Countless times he could’ve revealed himself or simply killed her, right there and then. He had convinced himself to save her for last, though. Chrollo would wither in misery watching her dying in front of him.

Fortunately, Chrollo had found him first, so he didn’t have to think about Machi anymore. It turned out that killing spiders without him to see it was no fun.

But now, after months of distraction, he felt her in a way he couldn’t resist. She was in distress, that much he could tell, but she wasn’t in the middle of a fight. Not a typical one. Hisoka smelled her blood as he got closer, as well as a sweet scent he couldn’t define. There was something so odd about the whole situation he found himself hesitating when he finally knew she could be seen if he climbed the next tree. 

Still, he did, and what he saw was Machi, his beautiful, stone-cold girl, master of such a unique hatsu, that he'd seen fighting, killing, and moaning under his body… now crying and gasping in pain. The sight of such agonized expressions on her face was foreign to the magician, even more so when he registered the large sphere protruding from her midsection; her belly, he realized in shock. Her legs were spread and her hands were clenched so hard they bled. Nobunaga was there too, pulling a tiny, shrieking form from her insides.

_A baby_. 

Hisoka froze. Machi, his former lover, was having a baby. Machi, the one he desired so much he grew puzzled when she desired him back. He still remembered the taste of her body, the echoes of her ecstasy, the desire, and, in the end, the pain that veiled her blue eyes when she silently asked him to not fight Chrollo. It felt so long ago, but it was soon enough for that baby to be his child. Or Chrollo’s. Either way, Hisoka trembled and almost revealed himself when he heard the muffled cry of that tiny human being. It was, indeed, a living breathing baby. And for some inexplicable reason, he wished deeply that it was his.

Nobunaga announced it was a girl. His daughter? Hisoka thought about that possibility with a soft smile on his lips. A little princess born from him and Machi. It would be painful if it wasn’t so. He watched as Nobunaga cut the cord and placed the newborn on his cloak to clean her. Soon the cry could be heard with the full power of her lungs, and she was nestled in her mother’s arms. Hisoka wondered what Machi thought or felt at this moment; he wished he could see her face to try to unveil her emotions. 

Whatever she was feeling, it was strong enough to make her ignore the menace taking form ahead. The thing looked like the ghost of a woman, gaunt and sinister, bluish skin due to the veins appearing through her sickly thin flesh smudged with blood. Hisoka could feel her hostility towards Machi and Nobunaga as if she was about to silently strike them, ominously raising her arms. Hisoka leaned forward without realizing it, fully prepared to launch himself at this sickening creature. Something stopped her, though, and she suddenly turned her empty eye sockets to Hisoka. Her face warped in an expression of sheer disgust at him and she backed up abruptly, causing Nobunaga to sense her and exude his bloodlust. 

It was _very curious_.

Hisoka didn’t move nor let his aura be felt when the creature threatened them. He just silently watched as Nobunaga attacked her, quickly leading her far from Machi so she could escape. Machi wasn’t so fortunate, though. Her legs seemed weakened and, for as much as she tried, she ended up just stumbling on the ground like a hurt animal. Something uncomfortable stirred up in him when all that could be heard was the baby’s loud cry. This made him jump to the ground and walk towards mother and daughter quietly, crouching down to take a better look. 

The fragile baby was lying against Machi’s breast, apparently trying to hold on to her with incredibly tiny hands. It was amazing how much life such a little being carried within itself. Machi was fighting against her heavy eyelids, and he wished he could tell her to relax and let go. He wished he could tell her he would take care of them now, so she wouldn’t have to fight when she was so debilitated. But would he? Why would he? Was this some sort of paternal instinct affecting him even knowing that the child could be Chrollo’s? It was…

“Curiouser and curiouser…” as he whispered in the end. This new world managed to give him something new to wonder about.

Hisoka carefully took the baby after Machi blacked out. The infant was so little he could nestle her perfectly in his hands; her head covered in thin reddish-pink hair supported on his fingers. She was so delicate Hisoka felt somehow unfit to hold her. The small round belly was inflating and deflating with her sharp cries that, for some reason, started to become lower and lower, until her toothless mouth formed a tiny pout and her puffed lids opened up a little. It was enough for him to notice they were mismatched. Her right eye was a bright blue, like Machi’s. Her left eye was yellow.

Just like his.

“Hello, little daughter,” he said with a smile. The feeling he’d anticipated before when he wished she was his now overflowed inside him. Pride. Ecstasy. An intimate kind of victory, for he was the one who impregnated Machi, not Chrollo. This small baby, minutes old, was a part of him and Machi made alive. And he wished he could stay there, looking at her in awe, but both she and her mother needed him to act fast. “Let’s take care of you, shall we?”

Hisoka placed the baby carefully on the ground to take off his shirt. It would be easier to carry both her and Machi if he attached the infant to his chest with Bungee Gum, so that she would be safe and unbothered by his movements. It would keep her warm, too, and he guessed it was needed. Nobunaga’s cloak seemed more useful to cover Machi before lifting her on his arms. Pink hair damped on her forehead; she smelled like sweat, blood, dirt, and milk. Each smell provoked a different sensation in him, all of them violent within his heart, his mind, and his body. But he only had time to kiss the top of her head before running.

That strange woman that threatened them was after his daughter, which made things undoubtedly personal. If Nobunaga wasn’t enough to kill her, Hisoka was; and the fact that she retreated only by the sight of him probably meant something. So he wasn’t running to hide, but to keep Machi and the baby safe. They needed a warm bath and a place peaceful enough to breastfeed. Machi needed to recover from the birth. For as much as Hisoka was screwed up in the head, he knew they needed care.

So he headed to the cabins that the creature apparently knew so well, and also where he could keep them inside and stay alert at the same time. If the disgusting woman survived, she would come after them, and find him. 

* * *

“You are a great fighter, Nobunaga Hazama,” the voice sounded calm and sweet inside his head, but Nobunaga couldn’t find the woman-like creature anywhere in the outside world. “You have so much more to offer than the weaklings I’m used to seeing here...”

He clenched his hands on his sword sheath and cursed his _En_ for having such a small range. Still, he should be able to feel that scum, for she was speaking so close to him… but he felt nothing.

“I’m offering you nothing but death, show yourself and face me!”

His aura was threatening, but all she did was chuckle. It was enough for him.

At least he could keep her occupied for a while, so Machi could escape.

* * *

The water was still warm when Hisoka stepped into the wooden tub. It wasn’t comfortable, but he thought it would be better to go in with her. Machi’s body was still lethargic in his arms, and she didn’t move when he immersed her body with his. Her head, he held safely against his shoulder. Lips slightly parted, the air was slipping so calmly between them it felt almost like a sin to try to wake her up. Well, being there like this with her definitely felt like a sin. Nothing would ever make her skin feel less delicious, he figured. Any other lover would make him feel bored eventually, and Hisoka would forget about them soon enough, while Machi still managed to have a hold on him even in her weakest form, passed out, swollen, dirty, exhausted after having their baby. 

She was amazing.

Still, he knew he had to wake her up, so with a wet hand, he caressed her face and her lids, cleaning the sweat off of her forehead, and kept shaking her slightly by the shoulders with his other arm. Eventually, Machi opened her lids as if it was painful, blue eyes slowly wandering the room until finally focusing on him. 

“Hey, Machi,” Hisoka greeted her with a smile, arms anticipating what was about to happen.

Her eyes, once lost, found fury, horror, and maybe fear, by the way they looked at him once Machi recognized his face. Just like the last time she saw him, he had to hold her tight, but now it was in her best interest. Water agitated with her violent movements to get out of his grip, overflowing and dripping on the floor. Hisoka tried to prevent her from moving her legs and hips too much while cooing to her to calm down, promising he wouldn’t hurt her, asking her to trust him. It was too much to ask and he knew it, but in her current state, careless motions would take a higher toll on her body than believing in him.

“You fucking let me go, you bastard!” She yelled, confusion taking over her face while she was still trying to fight him.

“I will when you calm down, Machi,” he replied calmly, but with a strong resolution in his voice. “You’ve just given birth, you’re weak and probably in pain. You know it will get worse if you keep moving like this.”

She still tried to rebel for a minute, and then he heard a huff as her body tensed up completely motionless.

“Where is my baby?” Machi asked, face down to avoid looking at him.

“Look at your left, she’s that little bundle on the bed, see? She’s sleeping peacefully, don’t worry.”

Hisoka presumed she moved only her eyes, for she remained silent for a moment, and then relaxed a little in his arms.

“Will you let me go now?” She asked, still upset.

“Will you stop hurting yourself?” He asked in return, and again, moments of silence followed, until he felt her head against his shoulder move slightly in acceptance. 

It was enough for him to loosen his arms and for her to slip away, to settle on the other side of the tub and avoid touching him in any way. Hisoka tried to give her space, standing up and stepping out of the tub with caution. It would be better for her to have his support in there, but she would have to realize it herself to accept it. Meanwhile, he sat on the wet floor by the tub with his back turned, in the hopes she would understand he would respect her will.

“What happened? Where’s Nobunaga?” Machi asked, and Hisoka could tell from her voice she was shuddering in pain. 

“You were attacked by a ghostly woman who wants the baby. Nobunaga managed to drive her away, deeper into the woods, and you passed out. I’ve taken you here to keep you and the baby safe, and Nobunaga still hasn’t returned. Can’t guarantee you he will.” Hisoka explained, matter-of-factly, and given her silence, he asked: “Do you know anything about her?”

“She… invaded my mind... and tried to convince me to give her the baby...” Machi hesitated but ended up explaining it very slowly. “She said she’s called... Nusumu Haha-oya... a mother, or something.”

Hisoka let his head fall back slowly until he felt it hitting the tub. His gaze slid from the ceiling to her forlorn figure. She was still avoiding looking at him. He thought she could be trying to disassociate from his presence; trying to imagine he was just something invading her mind as well. 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“There are some strange beings in this place, Machi,” he murmured. “If Nobunaga doesn’t take her down, I will.”

“Why?” She shook her head and looked at him briefly, then averted her eyes again as if she regretted it. “Why are you here? Why are you doing this? You were supposed to be dead. Again. Why are you not dead?”

“That’s too many questions, but I guess the answer to all of them lies in the fact that I’m too stubborn.” Hisoka shrugged and smiled faintly, she wouldn’t see it anyway.

“If you’re stubborn, then you’re still on your plan to kill all the spiders, right? I’m right here, Hisoka. I’m a spider, maybe the last one, but I’ll always be a spider.” Words slipped from her mouth slowly, as if desolation was weighing them down.

“I wanted something else from you before this. Maybe I have never overcome it.” He answered without thinking it through, sounding more earnest than he planned to be. Wonder in silence was one thing, talking about feelings was another, and something he never liked.

At all.

“What is it, Hisoka? My misery? You would rather watch me suffer than killing me?” Now irony was added to the desolation in her voice, and for some reason, this made him bitter.

“Nah, I think I would rather see you cum, Machi. The way you lose yourself with me is very lovely.”

“You selfish prick!” Machi’s anger hit him with a blast from her aura, causing the baby to cry on the bed and making her gasp in the tub, while he only looked down. He felt her trying to stand up, but failing with a painful whimper.

“Save your feelings about me for later, Machi. You have to finish your bath and take care of your child.” Hisoka stood up and put on his pants in his still wet body. His movements were elegant, albeit mechanic. “Just trust me for now. If I wanted you dead, you would already be.”

He glanced at her sideways, registering her teary eyes before leaving her to attend to the baby. Hisoka wasn’t sure about what to do to soothe the infant, but she seemed comfortable before against his chest, so he tried the same trick again, attaching her to him with Bungee Gum and walking around the room a little, the floor squeaking under his feet. Still, she continued crying, so loud and annoying, soft and warm at the same time.

Maybe he had underestimated the whole situation before diving in. Maybe he shouldn’t have assumed he could be a father or someone able to deal with Machi’s feelings. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t even face his own feelings about her. Everything was so overwhelming he looked at the door and imagined how it would feel to leave it all behind. It would be easier, but… would it make him feel good? He thought Machi would probably perish along with the baby, weak as she was in that place and being chased by something they were yet to understand. And the thought made him realize something terrible.

He was withering in misery with the thought of her dying. And he hated it.

* * *

The rough, hard wood wall was the only thing supporting Machi’s back as she sat on the thin bed by the floor with her baby finally in her arms. It wasn’t comfortable and the pain in her lower belly and legs was lingering, but she didn’t care. All that mattered was the tiny being she had just given birth to. Her dried hair was still reddish-pink, Machi noticed. Looked like strawberry. Her smell was still the same too, even after Hisoka had washed her up. 

Machi was worried when she saw her baby tied to his chest with Bungee Gum. He came back to pick her up from the tub, and in his arms, she could see her daughter now calm, apparently sleeping. Still, Hisoka never cared for anyone but himself, how could he be trusted with a fragile newborn? As soon as he placed the infant in her arms, after helping her dry and dress in a kimono three times her size, Machi examined her very carefully. Her skin was so delicate, her little face so peaceful. Five fingers in each hand, that moved lazily from time to time. Five toes in each tiny foot that sometimes would kick as if she was still getting used to all the space she had for them now. 

She was as perfect as the first time she saw her, and Machi thought it was just a stroke of luck that Hisoka could handle her so well.

“I think you have to try to feed her,” he said the first words after long minutes of silence.

He was sitting by the door, eyes fixed on something outside. Probably nothing. The sky was extremely dark, but the constant lightning cut his silhouette in a melancholic way. He looked different, less like a character and more like a man struggling to survive.

Machi shook her head when she realized she’d been staring at him for too long. Looking down now to her baby, she wondered how that worked. She knew she had to hold her daughter near her breast, but she wasn’t sure if she would instinctively latch on to it or if she needed any push. After some awkward moments trying to figure that out, Machi finally felt the baby suckling her milk, and she felt relief. It looked like she could feed her child, at least.

Comfortable against her left breast, the baby slowly opened her lids while trying to reach Machi with her hands. For the first time, she saw her mismatched eyes, and the more visible one in this position was clearly amber under the weak lamplight. The vision startled Machi, and she couldn’t help but look at Hisoka again, who quietly glanced at her in return this time. A set of amber eyes glistening under the weak lamplight.

Maybe Nusumu wasn’t bluffing, there was nothing of Chrollo in her baby. Maybe she did have a daughter with a monster.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, analyzing her in a way that made her look away urgently to avoid it.

“I… guess it is,” Machi answered, but her head was filled with doubt.

Hisoka saved her and the baby. Brought them back to the cabins. It wasn’t the same cabin she shared with Nobunaga, but the metallic smell in the air and the noise outside, exclusively from creatures while no human could be heard, made her create a bloody scenario in her head. This was probably the cleanest cabin he could find. He warmed water, gave her baby and her a bath. He was willing to kill the thing threatening them. He seemed worried. 

All of this was so odd her stomach turned. He probably believed he was the father... he _knew_ he was the father. And maybe his delusional self thought he could claim the child, brag about her, raise her as one of his _fruits_. Maybe he would even want to fight her to the death in the future. The thought made Machi dizzy.

“Hisoka...” she let his name slip from her lips in a sad tone, but before she could say anything else, he raised three fingers to her suddenly.

“Nobunaga returning with that thing’s head, me killing that thing myself, or you getting back on your feet,” he attributed each condition to a finger. ”Whatever comes first, I’m leaving and you won’t see me ever again, don’t worry.”

“No...” she shook her head, then looked seriously at him, nostrils flaring. “You’ve killed Danchou, protecting me now won’t make me forgive you. I’ll hunt you down as I promised.”

“Good luck with that, you’ll never find me, my dear,” he stated with a wicked smile on his lips, making Machi look away, or else she would scare her baby with her energy again.

“You’re a fucking coward,” she muttered bitterly. 

“Maybe I’m just not interested in your hunting anymore, Machi. Never thought of that?” Hisoka’s voice sounded like a knife, and she heard him moving.

Away.

When she turned her head, the door was still open, but all she saw was dark skies crossed by eventual lightning. It wasn’t supposed to hurt, but it did, and she felt tears running down warm on her face. Machi cursed her messed up hormones while cleaning them with the back of her hand. At least her baby was still in peace, breathing so softly while breastfeeding. Machi thought she should try to give her a name, at least it would distract her from all the confusing feelings she had experienced in the last 24 hours.

Her innocent amber eye was too much to bear looking at, though.

“All he does is hurting you, my sweet, sweet girl.” The disgusting, tender voice sounded near her, and Machi froze in place. “You should get rid of him.”


	4. Their Bitterness

There was a continuous high-pitched sound coming from somewhere in the distance. 

Machi thought she felt Hisoka holding her in his arms. She thought he was sitting behind her, supporting her head on his chest, but she couldn’t understand why. Only slightly conscious, it was hard to be sure if he was there at all. She thought she felt him touching her breasts and she couldn't help herself from letting out a moan. Her skin was so sensitive, his hand so warm... it shouldn’t feel so good but it did. He always did. Then she thought she felt a strange pressure on one of her nipples and it didn’t make sense. 

Everything was silent now. 

Machi tried to call his name. He took her face in his hand; he kissed her feverish cheek. Maybe what she felt against her back was his erection, and maybe she was feeling aroused too. 

It was nice to be here with him somehow, but soon everything went black again.

Hisoka made sure the baby was secure in his hand when Machi’s murmurs stopped and her body became more lethargic in his arms. The infant woke up crying, hungry in the middle of the night, but her exhausted mother barely moved. He didn’t want to have that role, to get so near her, touching her, feeling her heat and her skin; to hide his face in her pink messy hair and inhale her natural scent deep into his lungs. It was hard being so close to her without squeezing her body against his. It was simply impossible not to want her. 

But defying the impossible was nothing new to him. And luckily, it all would be over in the next day, as it should.

Previously that night, Hisoka was almost reaching the woods where he’d found her when he felt a blast of her aura in the cabins. His original plan was to check the area to try to find any trace of the thing that attacked them. With that explosion, it didn’t seem like it was needed anymore. He ran back as fast as he could to find her even more forlorn than she was before.

When he got to the door, she looked startled at him. Hisoka could only see half of her face, streaked and dirty with tears. The other half was covered by her hand. Heavy breathing made her whole chest move intensely, left breast uncovered, dripping milk for the baby who was now crying loud in her arms. Machi was trying to lull her with rather thoughtless and ineffective rocking. 

She was broken, and for some reason, instead of feeling disgusted or bored, what he felt was a bitter taste in his mouth.

Just a few seconds after he crossed the threshold, part of her tension seemed to dissolve in the air along with her threatening aura. Machi’s hand slowly dropped to reveal the sad symmetry of her whole face now. Blue eyes confused while fixed on his.

“What did you do?” She asked with her voice so low beneath the baby’s cries Hisoka almost missed her words. The question wasn’t accusatory. She seemed legitimately curious when he got closer and calmly sat on the bed in front of her.

“I returned to you, that's all,” his tone was serious and clear enough to overcome the infant’s voice. He stretched his fingers to touch the collar of the kimono she was wearing, so lightly it took her a while to understand he was closing it. He didn’t want the vision to be so distracting, but it was. Hisoka felt a sudden, violent urge to hold her, to lick the salt from her face and to taste the sweetness of her milk, but on such a rare occasion, he knew that suppressing this urge was the best decision. “What happened?”

Machi held the kimono so tightly against her chest her knuckles became white. He wondered if the pressure she applied against her skin was to erase any trace of his previous touch. She slowed down the mechanical movement she was making with her arm to try to calm the baby, and it seemed more effective than before.

“That bitch was here,” her voice was still low when she answered. Then she furrowed her brows and looked away for an instant as if something was dawning on her. “Just a while after you left that scum appeared in my mind and started telling me to get rid of you.” Machi let out a sad chuckle for what seemed like a sad joke. “You got something on her, what is it?”

The sad joke was realizing she and the baby were safer with him.

“Guess we’ll have to find out,” his lips drew a confident smirk, making Machi look suspiciously at him. But he was sincere. Hisoka had fought many strange and grotesque things in this hellhole, but none of these had reacted to him with such aversion like this Nusumu. “She attacks you by invading your mind, then.”

Machi held the baby in front of her. The little one was still disquieted, but her cries had turned to gruntings. Blue eyes got visibly softer while looking at the child for that brief moment, before nestling her against the shoulder, gently tapping her back to continue on the quest to calm her down.

“She did it while I was in labor, and now she's done it again” Machi shook her head slightly, avoiding looking at him as if it was something hard to say out loud. It probably was. “She speaks with an annoying voice, she makes you watch horrible things, she accesses memories, and then she uses it to try to manipulate you and get what she wants.”

“And she’s trying to play your insecurities like a piano,” he hummed, chin resting in both hands and eyes searching for hers, but she was still avoiding his stare. Nusumu would have already succeeded if Machi was any weaker. Alas, the creature still had a chance. They were humans after all, and the human mind was easier to break than the body when attacked directly. Hisoka knew. “Machi...”

“Nobunaga won’t come back,” she stated quite abruptly, the hand that was lightly patting the baby moved quickly to her face, cleaning the dry tears — or the new ones. “That’s my only insecurity if you wanna know. All the others are dead because of you, and Nobunaga is dead because of me.”

“Machi, that’s not true...”

“Shut up,” Machi interrupted him again, this time the harshness was in the words only, not in her tone. Her voice was just melancholic. “I’ll deal with my guilt, and I’ll accept you around even knowing you have no regrets.”

“Would you accept me better if I did?” Hisoka asked, half-teasingly.

“I’ll be better tomorrow,” she ignored his question deliberately, but he wasn’t waiting for an answer anyway. “If you really wanna help me, take us to the coast. The ship might still be there if we’re lucky.”

Machi would rather flee as fast as she could than stay and fight with him. It made sense. Maybe he would do the same if he were her. But he felt that bitterness again, surging like an allergic reaction he couldn’t avoid.

“What if you’re not fully recovered by tomorrow?” 

“I will be fully recovered, and if I’m not, I’ll have months to rest in the ship now that I don’t have to hunt you down, won’t I? Now stop staring, I need to feed my daughter.”

_Their_ daughter. It was pointless to argue about this, though, when everything was already settled. He let her feed the baby in peace; he heard when she accommodated herself sometime later and fell asleep with the child, now calm and well-fed, beside her. Only then Hisoka looked at Machi again. The feelings, the urges, were all still there, so odd to taste, so hard to swallow. 

Being with her made him weak and pathetic, he realized it was the reason he had avoided her during his hunt of the Troupe. Maybe he couldn’t go as far as killing her. Worse yet, maybe she had the power to make him give up. But why? Hisoka never allowed anyone to get as close as to become a liability, and he thought Machi wouldn’t be an exception. Until he noticed how his confidence faltered when she was near him. 

Her teary eyes almost bent his will to fight Chrollo. The way she welcomed him back from the dead made him wonder. She seemed so relieved everything was back to normal, part of him didn’t want to break it. But he had to. And now that he had no fights of his own, he took hers and all the annoyance that came along with it. And somehow he felt her weakness was his fault. Her weakness was a fountain of things he never wanted to deal with, but couldn’t look away.

Machi was his open wound he couldn’t pay her to stitch. So he would take her away and try to forget about her existence again in the hopes it would heal by itself.

* * *

Machi was never much of a sleeper, but her mind and her body betrayed her during the night, carrying her far away, over and over, when her thoughts made any attempt to come back. Sleeping that deep was a vulnerability; it was unbecoming for a Meteor City resident, a Phantom Troupe member, and a Dark Continent castaway. It felt so inevitable, however. No clear memories, no pain. Only long, lazy sighs and vague perceptions. 

It had been so long since she could rest so well.

When her consciousness started to emerge again from the depths of her mind, Machi felt it was so warm and quiet inside the cabin she was tempted to continue sleeping. But then she smelled something that made her mouth water. She had to use an incredible amount of strength to open her eyes and understand the scene unfolding in front of her, so simple and cozy it felt like she woke up in another reality she wasn’t acquainted with.

At all. 

Yesterday Nusumu had made her watch hideous scenes in her mind. She could feel the unbearable pain as Hisoka tortured her mercilessly, she could smell her child’s blood and hear her deafening cries as she desperately tried to stitch her up after his dreadful, mindless attack. But Machi knew, no matter how it hurt, it wasn’t real. She had to rely on her logical thinking while the images stained her mind and made her feel sick.

It wasn’t real.

Now Machi could see her baby’s little face on Hisoka’s shoulder, as he was with his back turned to her. The rustic wood oven was lit, and he was cooking something that made her realize how starved she was. Before making any movement that would denounce she was awake, she quietly watched him acting so carefully, her child sleeping so peacefully in his hand. He wasn’t himself at all, at least not what she remembered he was.

It didn’t feel real either.

Hisoka would never care for a baby, or stay to deal with a new mother, even if just for one day. Especially a woman with so much hatred towards him. And he wasn’t half of the teaser he usually was. It oddly seemed he had some respect for her and her current condition. It wasn’t normal. Even if he knew the baby was his daughter, why give himself that trouble?

Machi felt like she was trapped in this place with three versions of him. Hisoka, the aberration Nusumu created; Hisoka, the protector she’d never met before; and Hisoka, the one who killed Chrollo and other members of the Troupe she couldn’t forget. 

She didn’t notice when she took a deep breath, but he did. 

“Hungry?” Hisoka asked without turning to her, but his voice was clear enough for Machi to know he was addressing her. 

Machi sat carefully on the bed before answering. She longed for water to wash the dry tears out of her face. Her body craved movement, but it still felt a little uncomfortable, especially her lower belly and hips. Normal women could recover quickly from natural birth. She thought her recovery would be twice as fast, being a nen user, but she was still feeling weak. Maybe the starvation was hitting her, but she had other priorities now.

“I’ve only fed her once, she must be hungrier than I,” she said with a voice so hoarse it felt like she hasn’t used it for many days. Machi stretched her arms and kept them raised to take her baby. “Give her to me.”

“Don’t worry,” Hisoka turned to her. Dark circles under his eyes, shadows on his face. He probably hadn’t slept at all. “You don’t remember, but you’ve fed her during the night.”

Machi looked away when the hazy sensations came back to her mind. That noise she thought she heard was the baby’s cry, that pressure was her suckling her milk. And that feeling on her back, that warmth, was Hisoka touching her in a way that made her flush. She forgot about the fourth Hisoka, the one that was inevitable to her. That was the most difficult version of him to deal with. At least her sluggish face was already hot, the reaction to the memory should go unnoticed by him.

He carefully handed her the baby wrapped in old clothing, and Machi felt a strong sense of comfort when she held her. It was her smell again, so good, so soothing. She was awake and calmly looking back at her mother as if she was curious. Machi had to hold back the urge to talk to her, to kiss her pinkish cheeks, and to hold her closer. She wouldn’t do such things in front of Hisoka.

He returned holding two bowls smelling delicious. She secured the baby in one arm to take hers. Her stomach was growling, and she took the bowl to her mouth without hesitation. It tasted incredibly good. Much better than she ever expected Hisoka to cook. Even something as easy as canned soup, as she could recognize. Dark Continent’s delicacy. Only a few cans survived the wreck and most of them she and Nobunaga managed to steal, so she was grateful Hisoka managed to find more. Anything edible in that hellhole was either odd or downright repulsive.

“Easy, Machi,” she heard his voice while she was gulping, but she didn’t mind. 

She only stopped when the soup was over.

When she lowered the bowl, Machi saw Hisoka sitting on the floor next to her, eating his soup without a rush. Being with him made her feel so frustrated and confused with all the conflicting, painful feelings, memories, and versions of him. She needed to go away.

“Will you take us to the shore?” She asked unceremoniously, placing the empty bowl on her side to give full attention to her baby. She was the only person she had now, and she was so undisturbed and loveable. Machi felt a smile inevitably opening on her own features when she saw her little mouth open in a yawn. 

Hisoka observed her quietly for a long moment before answering.

“If you can stand up and walk, I have no reason not to.”

Machi nodded without looking at him. They had an agreement.

* * *

The baby was sleeping peacefully when Machi tucked her in bed after breastfeeding again. Hisoka wondered if she already had a name in mind. He was curious to know what his daughter would be called. But it was just curiosity, he thought, nothing more. Nothing worth breaking the silence and having another wave of bitterness hitting him in the face.

He was avoiding looking at Machi directly, but when she slid out of the ragged sheets, his attention focused inevitably on her. Hisoka couldn’t help but feel a little anxious to see her back on her feet. She didn’t seem to mind his gaze but was careful to support her weight on one foot before standing up on the two of them. She stretched her whole body, feeling it with slow movements before taking her first, confident step. In the second step, she stumbled, though, and moving forward to catch her was an automatic reaction.

Again her smell engulfed him, and again those urges arose. His hands held her tighter than needed, and she stood still in his arms, staring into his eyes as if she were lost. In him. Like the first time they kissed, Machi was torn between longing and knowing she shouldn’t, but making no effort to push him away. Hisoka felt he could kiss her again, but something was still preventing him. So he just let that instant stretch in time, feel endless to him, until her stillness started to worry him. 

Maybe what he was seeing in her eyes wasn’t yearning, but a physical pain that wouldn’t let her move. 

“Are you ok?” Hisoka broke the silence and her inertia along with it. 

Machi immediately pushed him and looked at him outraged, crossing her arms in front of her body.

“I just stumbled on the hem of the kimono, you didn’t have to hold me,” she said, moving away. “I’m gonna wash my face and try to find better clothes, then we’re ready to go.”

“Okay,” he replied, and smirked when she was out of sight. Bossy girl. He would miss her.

There was no time to lament, however. Hisoka opened the door, the smell of death all around on the outside. Some smaller animals were feeding on what had left of the deceased. The animals were something he paid attention to during the night as well, but they were much more docile on that side of the continent. Maybe that’s why the cabins were built there, and are still resisting. 

It seemed like a peaceful morning, even the bolts of lightning were fewer now. It was a good sign. They would reach the coast, the ship, and once they were on the sea he would forget about her and the baby and start his life anew. Once again, as he always did. It was the best possible perspective, indeed.

He heard Machi moving inside the cabin, probably searching for the clothes she needed. Hisoka knew he needed a shirt too, but before he could follow his intention of turning back inside, he felt something.

Something odd.

His eyes fixed on the point of the horizon he felt it coming. It wasn’t Nusumu’s aura, or anyone’s he knew. It didn’t feel… natural. 

“We have to search in the other cabins, they might have better options...” her voice sounded, increasingly closer to him, but Hisoka didn't move. Every pore of his body was alert. "What?" Machi asked, at last, noticing his guard up and raising her too as a reflex.

It was just self-defense, though. She couldn't feel it.

"We have company."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the filler chapter, I thought it was needed. But maybe we'll have some action next chapter...


End file.
